Should I Stay Facebook Friends With My Ex?
So he broke up with you. But there he is, staring you in the face… on FACEBOOK.
Day after day, hour by hour, you have to watch his Facebook or Instagram feed. You get updates when he goes out. Photos when he does something cool. It hurts to see him have a life without you, yet you can’t bring yourself to unfriend him.
But should you?
Whether to stay online ‘friends’ with an ex after breaking up is a tough decision. On one hand, you’re no longer dating. But on the other, his Facebook or Instagram posts have been a part of your life for a while now. “Friends” isn’t the same as going out, so isn’t keeping your ex boyfriend on your social media page an innocent thing?
The answer lies in whether you want him back. Because if you didn’t want the break up, and would rather be dating your boyfriend again? Remaining in contact on Facebook is the friend filter last thing you should do.
Now, notice I didn’t say you should unfriend him. There’s a big distinction there. What I’m saying is you shouldn’t be in CONTACT with him.
How to Handle Social Media After the Break Up
Remember: when a guy breaks things off with you, his first instinct will be to look back. He wants his decision to be a good one, so he wants to know that he’s better off without you.
He wants to see you cry. He wants to see you miserable. No, he’s not sadistic. His heart might feel for you, but his EGO WANTS THESE THINGS.
Seeing you upset ratifies his decision. It makes him feel confident that he did the right thing. If you’re begging and pleading for the relationship to continue, then you can’t be much of a catch, really, can you? That’s his thinking anyway.
This means he’s going to be looking to see exactly what you do after he ends things. Which is why the way you carry yourself in handling the breakup is a crucial part of making him want you back.
So what do you do about Facebook? NOTHING.
The best possible thing you can do to entice your ex’s interest is to leave your social media totally alone. Don’t make updates, don’t post anything, don’t even log in.
Above all else, don’t change your Facebook status, at least not in the first week or so. If you run to update yourself as ‘single’ thinking you’re taking some remote stab at your boyfriend, think again. He’s going to laugh at how silly that is. How your Facebook status was so important you had to run home and change it the moment he broke up with you.
Avoid Playing Social Network Games
If you hope to reverse an unwanted break up, one of the worst things you can do is play games. Twitter and Facebook and Instagram are rife with immaturity when it comes to people trying to one-up each other after a fight or break. You’ve seen this with your own friends, and it’s always lame.
Now imagine what happens when you don’t play those games. Your boyfriend breaks up with you and you totally disappear. You’re not on Facebook, you’re not responding to emails, text-messages… basically you’re off doing who-knows-what.
When your ex looks back over his shoulder you want him to see nothing. This shakes his confidence and keeps his ego in check. He expects to see you hurting, he expects to see you posting vindictive song lyrics. Instead, you’re not even around.